Therapy for Guilt, Shame, and Self-Critcism
Vancouver, BC, Online & In-person

Do you feel ashamed all the time, want to stop feeling guilty, or wonder to yourself, "Why am I so hard on myself? "It can be exhausting to move through life with persistent feelings of guilt ("It's my fault"), shame ("I'm broken"), and persistent self-criticism (negative self-talk). 

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Guilt usually shows up when we feel bad about something we did or didn't do; it can also be a feeling that arises when we believe we have fallen short of meeting a personal moral or ethical standard. Guilt focuses on our actions, not who we are. Guilt can sometimes be helpful because it can motivate us to take responsibility, apologize, or make changes. However, if it persists and doesn't resolve, it is worth looking into.

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Shame, on the other hand, goes deeper. Instead of thinking “I did something wrong,” shame tells us “I am something wrong.” It can make people feel small, flawed, or unworthy. Shame often leads to hiding, pulling away from others, or avoiding situations where we fear being judged.

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Self-criticism is the harsh inner voice that judges and says unkind words. It is often born out of self-protection but sustained by shame. When we are highly self-critical, we may constantly tell ourselves we are not good enough, which can lower confidence and increase emotional distress.

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Research shows that these three experiences often work together. Shame and guilt can trigger self-critical thoughts, and self-criticism can intensify guilt and shame that doesn't resolve. While guilt can support learning and growth, shame and self-criticism tend to be linked to stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, and feeling stuck.

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How can counselling help?​

 

Counselling provides a safe, supportive space to explore these feelings without fear of judgment. Many people carry shame quietly, and talking about it with a trusted professional can already reduce its power.

 

Therapy can help you:

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• Improve your relationship with mistakes

• Recognize and soften self-critical thoughts

• Develop self-kindness and self-respect

• Learn healthier ways to cope with guilt

• Build emotional awareness and regulation skills

 

Over time, counselling can help people move from harsh self-judgment toward greater self-understanding. Instead of avoiding or hiding, individuals often feel more confident, connected, and able to respond to challenges with care rather than criticism.​

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Support and change are possible, and no one has to carry these feelings alone. I offer therapy for adults in Vancouver, BC, providing primarily online support with in-person sessions available for those who prefer to meet in person on Commercial Drive. Reach out to book a consultation if you'd like to explore more.